Life’s most important decisions are always made during the worst of times. A crisis never knocks before entering. Many times you don’t see a divorce or change in relationship status coming. Here’s one of my favorite C.S. Lewis quotes:
“Crying is all right in its way while it lasts. But you have to stop sooner or later, and then you still have to decide what to do.”
Now there’s a challenge; making a clear-headed decision when you’re in full flight or fight mode. It’s natural to go to extremes in a divorce or custody case. Are you out for blood or looking to just run away? In either case, the best response lies somewhere between the polar extremes.
Five Coping Strategies for Divorce
I’ve ordained myself a bit of a life-coach, especially when it comes to helping people through the struggles of a high-conflict divorce or custody case. Here are my top five coping tips:
- Acknowledge your pain. If you don’t face your pain head-on, you’re setting yourself up for problems, later. And, you’ll never move into a recovery phase.
- Keep it in perspective. Nobody said life is fair or that you would make it through, unscathed. When I’m thrown off balance, I listen to classical music. If there is a spiritual text that resonates with you, find comfort there.
- Don’t do anything stupid. Of course, stupidity knows no boundaries, so let’s just cover the basics here. Do not… get drunk, use drugs (marijuana included), get violent, stalk, creep, troll, sell anything ridiculous, buy anything ridiculous, or do anything else to affect the general status quo.
- Take advice but make your own decisions. Your friends and family feel your pain, too, and will often urge you to go to extremes when evaluating your options. Seek out the people in your world who are a bit more discerning and able to give you constructive advice. In the end, though, it’s your life and you’re the one who is going to live it; make your own decisions.
- Google is a beginning, not an end to your family law education. Going online is a great first step in gathering information about Texas family law, and modesty aside, our website, www.lawtolife.com is tops in Tarrant county when you want to know family law without a lot of fluff. Then, it’s time to meet with a lawyer… so much of family law is outside the lines of what you’ll glean from an online search. Let a professional advise you about your particular situation.
Gregory L. Housewirth is a Board-Certified Family Law Specialist practicing in Fort Worth, Texas. With 30 years’ family law law experience, Mr. Housewirth has represented hundreds of clients in divorce, custody, CPS, modification, and grandparent cases. In addition, Mr. Housewirth is a qualified family law mediator and a member of Collaborative Law Texas, a practice group dedicating to promoting collaborative divorce in Texas.